


Family Bonding

by EarpingHaught81



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Humor, Multi, Total Fluff, WynHaught brotp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 11:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11713032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarpingHaught81/pseuds/EarpingHaught81
Summary: This is what happens when Wynonna picks the bonding activity.





	Family Bonding

**Author's Note:**

> After 2x09 I needed fluff and this was the result. Hope you enjoy!

“Hey Nicole have you see-ooohh I didn’t need to see that.” Wynonna turned on her heels and went right back out the door she had just come in.

“We should really put a bell on your sister.” Nicole kissed the pulse point in Waverly’s throat.

“Or we could just remember to lock the door.” She tangled her fingers in red hair pulling her closer.

“Or we could not make out at work.” She pulled back smirking.

“Who mauled who? All I did was walk through the door.”

“Yeah but you were all-”

Wynonna walked back in. “By the way Haught pants I don’t appreciate you defiling my sister in the filing room now put her back where you found her and help me find Dolls.”

“Should I file you under W for Waverly or S for sexy?”

Wynonna made a face. “Oh gross now I know what sprinkle donuts taste like in reverse. When you’re done I’ll be in the BBD office throwing up a rainbow.”

“I’ll see you tonight right, dinner at the homestead? I promise Wynonna will be on her best behavior.”

“If she even knows what those words mean I’ll strip naked as a jaybird and prance around the yard in nothin’ but my hat.”

“Promise?” Waverly raised hopeful eyebrows.

Wynonna stuck her head through the door. “Super weird bonding moment count me in. I’ll brink the whiskey you bring the donuts it’ll be a thing.”

“Ooookay this just got super awkward.” She bounced up on her toes and kissed Nicole’s cheek. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Come on Haught to trot we got work to do you can do my sister later.”

“Wynonna!” Waverly turned to stare at her.

“Oh please we’re all adults here and it’s not like I can’t hear you, noise cancelling headphones my ass.”

Nicole’s face quickly matched her hair as she made a face at Waverly. “I told you.”

“We can discuss this at length over dinner and save room because I’m bringing dessert, ladyfingers. You both like those right?” Wynonna smirked as she left them fumbling for a retort.

Later at the Homestead…

“Come on I told you mine now tell me yours.” Wynonna sat back in her chair.

“Wynonna nobody asked you yours.” Waverly rolled her eyes.

“I know but we’re sharing right, getting to know each other? We could always play truth or dare.”

“Oh I’ve seen how this ends.” She looked at Nicole. “It’ll be better for all of us if you just answer otherwise at some point someone will be on the roof with a lampshade on their head and nothing else.”

“Right that reminds me we’re still doing that naked bonding thing right? Big fire and burnt boobs it’ll be a real hoot at least until we have to explain the singed nipples to the E.R. doc. Oooh then I’ll have a new name for you.” She looked at Nicole. “Haught Nips.”

“You call me Haught Nips and I’ll shoot you.”

“Aww you don’t like my fun nicknames? I’m hurt.” She pouted. “If it makes you feel better you can come up with one for me.”

“How about I just call you Wynonna and you call me Nicole or if you prefer Officer Haught.”

“I like you.” She pointed and winked at Nicole. “You don’t take my shit and also I don’t want to hit you. I always had the urge to hit Champ and damn if you didn’t beat me to it so tell me, how did it feel?”

Nicole cut her eyes to Waverly. “I didn’t want to hit him I was acting in my capacity as a deputy. I was protecting the public from what I saw as a potential threat.”

“I bet it felt really good to drop him like a sack of rocks though. I’m pretty sure that’s what his head is filled with.”

Waverly opened her mouth to say something but shook her head. “He was about as intelligent as plankton.”

“I think that might be giving him too much credit.” Nicole said.

“Boy you were really jealous weren’t you?” Waverly smirked at her.

“I was not jealous I just thought you could do better.” She shrugged.

“Well at least we agree on that. I would’ve approved of you marrying a vibrator before Champ Hardy thank god he never asked.”

“I don’t know why I’m still shocked by the things that come out of your mouth.” Nicole laughed.

“You should see the things that go in it that’ll really blow your mind. You’ve had your mind blown right Wave? I mean from the things I’ve heard it gets blown multiple times a night you lucky girl you.”

“So how about those ladyfingers?” She turned and scampered for the kitchen.

“Worst subject change ever.” Nicole hung her head at Wynonna’s smirk.

“Yeah how about them, they really know how to satisfy don’t they?”

“Oh god shoot me now.” Nicole groaned dropping her head into her hands.

“I’ve never had ladyfingers but maybe I should give them a chance I might like them more than twinkies.”

“I think it’s officially time to end the evening.” Nicole stood.

“Aww but we didn’t do happy fun naked time I was really looking forward to that. I was gonna invite Doc but I figured I would be the only one to enjoy _his_ twinkie.”

“Yep time to go.” Nicole headed for the kitchen. “Waves?” She looked around the empty room.

“Now where do you think she got off to?”

Nicole pulled the door open calling into the darkness. “Waverly?” She instinctively reached for her gun.

“Relax Haught I’m sure she’s fine but I appreciate the instinct to protect her.” She clapped her on the shoulder as she brushed by her. “Yo Wave where’d you go?”

“I’m over here.” She stood from her hunched position. “I heard a noise. Look what I found.” She smiled from ear to ear. “Can we keep her?” She cradled the puppy in her arms.

“Like I can say no to that look of pure joy?” Wynonna smiled. “I mean just look at that smile.”

“We have the same problem I can’t tell her no either.”

“Stick with that because if you ever break her heart I’ll fill you full of something and it ain’t ladyfingers.” She dropped a hand to rest on the butt of Peacemaker.

Her face softened even more as she watched Waverly with the puppy. “If I break her heart I’ll be breakin’ my own and life won’t be worth livin’.”

“Wow that’s extreme. I like your commitment though.”

“Wynonna if I thought she’d marry me right now I’d ask her.”

“That U-Haul thing isn’t a joke is it?”

She turned her head to look at Wynonna. “I knew I loved her in the first three seconds of layin’ my eyes on her.” She held up a finger to silence the words she knew were coming. “And I know that because I’ve never felt this way before.”

“I think I feel my teeth rotting in my head.” She snorted. “And they said the donuts were bad for my teeth.”

“The whiskey doesn’t help your liver any either.”

“I see it now you’re going to mom me aren’t you? Don’t drink so much Wynonna it’ll ruin your liver, go put some stain remover on that demon blood before it sets in Wynonna blah, blah, blah.”

“Well somebody has to look out for you I guess it might as well be me.”

“I…” That was as far as she got.

“Oh don’t you go all mushy on me Wynonna it isn’t your style.”

“That was actually really kind of nice and I didn’t want to ruin the moment with a smartass remark.”

“Yeah well I kind of like your smartass remarks they’re strangely comforting in high stress situations.” She smiled at her before turning back to Waverly. “So what are you gonna name her?”

“I was thinking Oakley you know like Annie Oakley? I think she’ll get along great with Calamity Jane don’t you?”

“I think they’ll just fall in love with each other.” Her smile softened even more.

Wynonna made a gagging sound. “Okay that’s enough of this let’s get to the nekkid fire dancing that’s more my speed.” She turned on her heels calling back over her shoulder. “And we can keep the puppy.”

Waverly did a little happy wiggle. “Oh I’m gonna need to get you a little bed and a little pink collar with your name on it. And you’ll sleep in my room because Wynonna angry yells in her sleep and I don’t want her to scare you.” She climbed the stairs. “Look Nicole I got a puppy!”

“You really couldn’t be any more adorable if you tried could you?” She grinned at her. “Come on Wynonna is probably already stripped down to her birthday suit by now.”

“Sometimes I think she looks for excuses to get naked.” She shook her head.

“Please tell me that doesn’t run in the family. At least not public nudity because private nudity is more than okay with me.” She winked watching the blush climb up the tiny brunette’s neck.

“I uh…” Her eyes bounced like a ping pong ball. “Wow did it just get really warm or am I getting hot flashes like twenty years too early?”

“I love that you still get flustered even after we’ve” she lowered her voice “done things.”

Wynonna stepped into the kitchen staring at them. “You think you’re warm now wait till you catch a titful of that fire.” She chucked a thumb over her shoulder.

Nicole’s eyes bounced to the ceiling. “Oh wow she was really serious about this I thought it was just a joke.” She caught a glimpse of Wynonna’s backside as she skipped back out.

“Wynonna doesn’t joke about fires. Or getting naked. Or booze or donuts. But everything else is fair game.” She shrugged. “You don’t have to get naked if you don’t want to but she’ll pile on the peer pressure and you’ll probably cave eventually so really you might as well just get on the crazy bus.”

“Is there any compromise in there like maybe I can keep my underwear on?” She groaned when Wynonna started howling.

Oakley picked her head up and howled with her. “It’s official they’re soulmates.” Waverly laughed scratching the puppy’s ears. “If you can fend her off for about thirty more minutes she’ll be three sheets to the wind and won’t know the difference between naked and a ten foot tall chicken.”

“That’s…comforting?” She raised a brow at her. “I’m not getting out of this am I?”

“Nope!” She smiled bouncing up on her toes to kiss Nicole on the cheek. “Welcome to the family!” She scampered off to join Wynonna.

“I don’t know if that should make me happy or scare the bajeezus out of me.” She grudgingly followed Waverly. “I’m gonna regret this.” She stopped at the open front door staring at her now half naked girlfriend. “Or maybe not.” She nearly ran down the front steps. “Wait for me!” She yanked her shirt off throwing it behind her.

Waverly threw her head back laughing. “That didn’t take much peer pressure at all.”

“If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em.” She picked her up feeling legs wrap around her. “What have I gotten myself into?” She shook her head smiling.

“Yo Haught Nips this is a no pants allowed party loose ‘em or I lose ‘em for you.” She tipped the whiskey bottle on end. “Damn this bonding thing is fun we need to do this more often.”

“She just called me Haught Nips you know I’m gonna have to shoot her right?”

“Shoot her later right now you should just lose the pants.” She slid down Nicole’s body backing away as she unbuttoned her jeans.

“Yes ma’am.” She mock saluted. “But next time the no pants allowed party is gonna be a private one.” She kicked off her shoes hopping out of her pants.

“That’s the spirit Haught Nips woooooo take it off take it all off.” She laughed at herself motioning to Nicole with the bottle. “Can I tell you a little secret?” She threw her arm around Nicole’s shoulders. “I really do like you and I’m not just saying that because I’m drunk. Well I might be but I’ll still mean it when I sober up.”

“Thanks Wynonna I appreciate that but do you think we could do this when you’re not stark naked? I feel boob on my arm.”

“Right and the only boob you wanna feel is my sister’s gotcha.” She backed away. “But you have to admit I look damn good.”

“I’ll never admit to any such thing.”

“Good answer Haught Nips I approve and don’t look at my ass when I walk away. I know it’s mesmerizing but the only ass you should be looking at is over there.” She again pointed with the whiskey bottle. “I’ll be here howling with Oakley.”

She saw Waverly beckon her with a finger. “I swear I’ll never look at anyone else’s ass for as long as I live.” She left Wynonna who was literally howling with the puppy to meet Waverly on the other side of the blaze. “Your sister approves of me. And her boob touched me.”

Waverly laughed. “I approve of the approval but not the boob touching. I’ll tell her to keep those things to herself.”

“I would appreciate it thanks.”

“So…” She ducked her eyes.

“Yep.” She bobbed her head. “Wanna dance?”

“Uh Nicole there isn’t any music.”

“I don’t need music all I need is you in my arms and we’ll make our own.”

“Oh you are smooth Officer Haught.”

“Baby you haven’t seen smooth.” She took one long stride pulling their bodies together. “Can you hear it?” She whispered into her ear. “We make beautiful music.”

“Nicole?” She whispered back.

“Hmmm?” Her soul hummed as they swayed together.

“I love you.”

She paused for just an instant her heart bounding from her chest. “I love you too.” She smiled against the lips pressed to hers.

“Aww I love you guys too!” Wynonna wrapped her arms around them squeezing tight.

“Oh god now I feel boobs on my back.” Nicole tried to wiggle away.

“Oh shut up you know you like it Haught Nips.” She wiggled closer.

“Stop calling me Haught Nips!”

Wynonna and Waverly just laughed at her. “Well shit.” Her shoulders slumped. “I did this to myself might as well get used to it.”

“That’s the spirit just give in it’ll be a lot easier on you that way.” Wynonna finally set them free. “Now who wants to play truth or dare?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

That was the last thing Nicole Haught remembered before waking up on the roof wearing a lampshade and nothing else.


End file.
